


all the lights are shining

by oh_la_fraise



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Bonding, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, alexis's adventurous past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 18:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21020261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_la_fraise/pseuds/oh_la_fraise
Summary: The phone rang once before it stopped abruptly.  “Patrick, I told David I didn’t know what happened to his Prada sweater, and he’s not going to get you to guilt me into confessing.”“No—I—what?  No, Alexis, I was just wondering if you’d heard from him or Ted?  It’s coming down pretty hard, and David’s not answering—”There was a muffled sound, as if Alexis had put down the phone to verify for herself that it was, indeed, snowing.  “God,” she moaned when she finally picked back up, “Ted can barely drive when it’s not snowing.  I’ll be at the store in ten.”





	all the lights are shining

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [SCFrozenOver](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SCFrozenOver) collection. 

> My fill for this prompt! Title is from All I want for Christmas is You because of course it is. Cowboy Mafia was stolen shamelessly from B99, but also was really apparently a thing. It makes no sense for it to be winter and then Patrick and David go hiking like three weeks later, but as Dan Levy said, fuck time rights. 
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> Car problems during a snow storm leaves David and Ted stranded while Alexis and Patrick search for them (or vice versa). Each pairing shares stories with the other that help them understand their partners. Angst, hurt/comfort or sweet and funny or all of these things if you are feeling inspired.

There had been—something about farm fresh eggs?Patrick, honestly, hadn’t been too sure.He knew people gave David shit about not paying attention to things going on in the store, but it was a very clear division of labor. David was meticulous and vicious about bringing new vendors in and making sure everything was stocked appropriately; Patrick didn’t usually get drawn in until payment was due or someone needed to balance the books.David was also surprisingly good at negotiating contract terms—Patrick had a whole new fantasy opened to him the day David talked Golden Acre Farms into selling their jelly with an extra 10% discount.

So, yeah.Fresh eggs.It was a cousin of a client of Ted’s; Ted had mentioned the store, and the next thing Patrick knew, David was off with Ted to check the health of the chickens and certify the eggs were humanely lain.David had been teasing Patrick about running off with Ted again, but then Ted had said _fresh eggs are utterly hen-ful, _and then the thing Patrick had been most worried about was having to bail David out because he’d committed homicide.

That _had _been what Patrick was worried about, but then a storm came out of nowhere, skies darkening ominously.Soon enough, it started to snow, and Patrick pulled out his phone to call David.They’d taken Ted’s car, so hopefully David wasn’t driving.

The phone went to voicemail.Patrick stared out at the snow piling down, unease churning in his gut.

He thought about calling Ted, then decided he didn't want to distract Ted if he was driving.He was carrying precious cargo, after all.Instead, he did what David would probably break up with him for if he’d been standing there, and dialed Alexis.

It rang once before it stopped abruptly.“Patrick, I _told _David I didn’t know what happened to his Prada sweater, and he’s not going to get you to guilt me into confessing.” 

“No—I—what?No, Alexis, I was just wondering if you’d heard from him or Ted?It’s coming down pretty hard, and David’s not answering—”

There was a muffled sound, as if Alexis had put down the phone to verify for herself that it was, indeed, snowing.“God,” she moaned when she finally picked back up, “Ted can barely drive when it’s not snowing.I’ll be at the store in ten.”

She hung up with a faint click.Patrick, despite the fact that reinforcements were coming, didn't feel better.

He focused on neatening things around the store—it wouldn’t do to rescue David from a terrifying avalanche or near hypothermia only for him to die of a heart attack at the mess Roland had made of the shampoo bottles—until there was a quick _honk honk _outside.He put the _be back shortly sign _in the window and locked up, heading to the Rose’s idling Lincoln.Alexis stuck her head out the window; she was wearing a hat that made her look like a flapper.“Get in loser; we’re going shopping.”

He squinted at her.“It’s starting to come down kinda hard, Alexis; do you want me to drive?”

“Please.”She laughed.“I once drove a snow plow through a Bosnian wildlife preserve.This is nothing.”

Once they drove away, as Patrick was learning all the Roses tended to do, Alexis immediately began to fill the silence.He wasn’t really listening—he was staring at the half a dozen variants of _you okay? _texts he’d sent had gone unanswered—but the words _flamethrower _and _gun smuggling ring _had filtered through, so he assumed it was typical Alexis fare.To his surprise, she really was good at driving in the snow—it had lightened a little, but still was coming down, and Alexis drove steady and sure, hands firmly on the wheel at 10 and 2. 

The opening lines of _All I Want for Christmas is You _started tinkling quietly on the radio, and Patrick looked down at his phone again, willing for David to respond.

“David really loves you, you know,” she said, apropos of nothing.She must have also noticed the song.

“I love him too,” he responded, unsure how to tackle the change of tone.

She _mm’hmm-_ed under breath as if she was merely pacifying Patrick.“You know, this girl once dumped him because he wore too many layers in the summer.She said that his ‘inability to embrace his body damaged the aesthetic of their status as a power couple.’”

Patrick took a second to digest that, not only because it was yet another example of how people had failed to appreciate David, but also because it seemed that Moira came by her ridiculous vocabulary honestly from the people in their old lives.“David isn’t that shy of his body.I think he just gets cold easily.”He blushed faintly; Patrick had just made it clear that he knew as an indisputable fact that David wasn’t shy of his body to David’s sister.Alexis just grinned, not taking her eyes away from the road. 

“He does.He bought a space heater for the room in _April, _when it was like 70 degrees outside.I almost murdered him.”Patrick could hear the fondness underneath the eye roll, though like David, she’d probably rather be tortured before admitting it.

“I’ve never actually murdered anyone,” Alexis mused.

“I haven’t either,” Patrick said, used to her dramatics by now.“Hey, look at that.Something we have in common.”

She hummed.“I’ve come close though a few times.Not willingly, of course, but when something you love is on the line, you’re willing to do a lot.I once cold cocked a guy to free my friend Destiny from a ranch in Montana.”

The dots began to connect.“Alexis,” he said, bewildered, “are you giving me the ‘hurt him and I’ll hurt you’ speech?”

This time, she did look away from the road.The car continued at its straight, steady pace.She looked more serious than he had ever seen her.“I know you love David,” she said.“And you’ve stuck with him this long, which should, like, qualify you for sainthood.”She bit her lip.“But you lied to him about Rachel,” she said, and Patrick felt like he was outside he was suddenly so cold.“And you let him think you were out to your parents.”

He bit his lip, unsure what to say, and in true Rose fashion, Alexis continued.“Look.I know he’s obnoxious about how he insists stuff be ‘neat,’ and ‘_clean,’” _here she took her hands briefly off the wheel to physically demonstrate how ridiculous she found this, “and he wears that horrible aftershave and once ate an entire roast chicken, but.”She swallowed audibly.“One time he traded his Maîtres du Temps to buy my freedom from a Bengali trafficker and he blackmailed Atul Gawande into taking my spleen out and—people have taken advantage of him in the past and I know you care about him, but if you break his heart I still have a friend in the cowboy mafia, is all I’m saying.”

Patrick thought about the gold rings he’d just ordered and smiled.He thought briefly about telling Alexis, but then decided he’d be safer talking to Stevie instead; Stevie was David's cheerleader, he knew, but he was gradually realizing that Alexis was David’s even more unlikely attack dog.“Duly noted,” he said instead.

He was saved from Alexis’s reply by the appearance of Ted’s old Corolla pulled over to the side of the road.The hood was propped open, and, to Patrick’s relief, he could see David and Ted inside the car, safe and separated by the gearshift.

Alexis pulled over and parked, jumping out.Patrick was right behind her.As they approached, Ted opened his door, and Patrick immediately got a whiff of something . . .herbal.“Oh my god,” Alexis said, “Were you two idiots hotboxing while Patrick and I were staging a rescue operation?”

“It’s medicinal,” David said, “it cures intense boredom.Our phones were both dead.”He stumbled up, and even though he reeked, Patrick was glad to see him.

“And to be fair, we did try to send a smoke signal when the engine went out!” Ted said, grinning even more broadly than he usually did.“But lighting the air freshener just kind of fizzled out.”

“And the joint kept us from freezing to death,” David added, pulling on Patrick's arm.

Alexis stomped her very high heeled boot and trounced back to the car.“Ugh, David, no wonder you could never survive Shelly Banowitz’s Survivor Bali trips.”

“Jump under the car Alexis,” David responded, but he followed her. 

David slid into the back, and even though he’d been sitting in the front previously, Patrick followed.David inched closer, and Patrick slung an arm around him, pulling him into Patrick’s chest.

“Thanks,” David mumbled quietly.“I was cold.”

Alexis caught his eyes in the rearview mirror and smiled. 


End file.
